I’m absolutely terrified of blogging.
I think I know why, but it’s still curious to me that the idea of writing down my thoughts and putting them out there scares me as much as it does.
I have thoughts and feelings about Apple and the technology industry – many thoughts and feelings – but for whatever reason, I’ve been too afraid of criticism and judgement to make those feelings public.
But you know what? I just turned 30, and goddamnit, if I’m ever going try my hand at this sort of thing, I may as well try now. I’d rather try now than wake up in another 30 years and regret never starting.
That’s no way to introduce my site. Let me try again.
Hi. Welcome to Bonney.io, my personal site. I’m Matt Bonney. Bonney. Dot IO. Like computers.
You get it.
I tend to overexplain things. My wife can confirm that.
This is a site where I’m planning on writing about technology, mostly Apple related. There are probably too many of these sites out there. Oh well. Try and stop me.
I also have tons of ideas floating around in my head for what I’ve chosen to refer to simply as “projects” – one of which I’ve briefly put out in the world before, my watchOS Color Guide.
I turned 30 one week ago today, on Thanksgiving day. And in the run-up to 30, I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I suffer from anxiety and depression. (I’ve long suspected I also suffer from ADHD, although I’ve never been formally diagnosed, and to be honest, I feel gross suggesting it without proof.) I suspsect part of what makes my mental health struggles so bad is that I am only an observer of the things I like, but I don’t produce anything.
I have a creative muscle that’s beginning to atrophy.
I want to change that. I want to be able to brain-dump when I’m overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings about the news of the day. I want to share what I think and feel, and I want to learn to be okay with the fact that some people might not give a shit.
I want to learn how to be okay with the fact that some people, maybe even people I know, might read this site and – gasp – have an opinion on the things I think about.
I want to contribute to this community of independent creators, writers, podcasters, developers, and nerds, and to learn to get over the fact that some people don’t feel the same way about this stuff as I do.
But it’s scary.
I’ve never really been the type to put myself out there. I’m squarely an introvert, and not a risk-taker… but I think that hesitation is ruining me. It’s now or never to shoot for the moon.
This is me going for it.
This is me doing the scary thing.